Sublime Dreams of Sixteen

Image from flickr by doug88888

     Will you take a trip with me? Lets go back in time and explore the young girl I was at sixteen, as I remember her anyway. Oh I was so full of dreams and aspirations for the future. On the cusp of adulthood and finally being able to be to control my life! I was going to cast off the shackles of parental control and finally be in charge of my destiny. I dreamed of becoming the Upton Sinclair of my generation. I wanted to expose evil plots and cruelty at the highest levels. I wanted to make people aware of injustice and rouse people to action. I wanted to revolutionize Special Education and give special needs children a different experience then the kids I went to school with. I wanted to help foster a society where everyone is welcomed and included. I thought that acceptance and inclusion of people with disabilities as the next civil rights movement. (Obviously I did not understand what civil rights were, but I hope you can feel the passion I had for this) I was going to make a difference, and in that process make the world a better place. I was going to make my mark and people were going to know my name. And when I died the world was going to be a better place because I was in it. 

I love the mindset of that girl.  And I want to recapture her spirit. 

     An amazing young woman with dreams and aspirations to make the world a better place. Somewhere along the way I lost those dreams and replaced them with others. The original dreams became impractical. Inconvenient.  Some of the things I said were: Well this is going to take too long. I don't want to slam my head against that brick wall for 20 years. 

     You may think it will just be a postponement but I have met many older people who never realized their dreams. They may encourage their children or grandchildren to do what they never did. But it can haunt them. The good news is it doesn't matter if you are 20 or 70, you can still work toward your dreams if the fire burns inside you hot enough. 

     I am assured that your aspirations are not the same as mine, so if you are brave enough revisit a time when you were proud of yourself and had dreams of doing something incredible. It is ok if you cry. I did. Do not get lost in the 'where did I go wrong'. For a moment be that person again. Remember what it felt like to be in that skin. Feel again how alive and hopeful you were. Good news again, you are wiser now and can make steps to realize those dreams with a clearer head. Sometimes being older is an advantage. 

     So what do we do once we have captured the spirit of incredible strength? I really don't know for certain. For myself I am making time to write. I am registering for an online university to finish my teaching degree. We can dream all day, but if we don't take the time to do the practical steps we will be no further on our way then we are now. And who knows, maybe my dreams will be refined. While I love the spirit I had when I was young, I am a different person today. 

     “What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?”  ~ Vincent Van Gogh